Tuesday, 25 September 2007

I hate having ADD

No matter what they say on all the ADD info websites, ADD is shit. It is a fucking curse and a cross which I whish I did not have to bear. I have also tried to talk myself into believing that I am happy about having ADD because of the positive aspects. Well, I don’t think the “positives” is so fucking great any longer. What I hate about having add I hate the effort I have to put in to do simple fucking things I hate the fucking effort it takes to stay organised I hate the fact that when I let my organising efforts slip, it takes a major fucking project, mission and venture to get back on track again. I hate being so fucking irritable! I hate being so fucking sensitive I hate my fucking procrastinating I hate not being able to fucking concentrate on the things I should I hate concentrating on all the things I fucking shouldn’t I hate having to take one of the most debated substances ever (fucking Ritalin) I hate not fucking knowing what I am apprehensive about. I hate my fucking addictions I hate being so fucking bored I hate having AD-fucking-D

18 comments:

angel said...

whew... feeling any better yet? i'm so sorry you're having a hard time, i wish i could help out!

Spear said...

Ja, I'm better today, your previous comment is much appreciated

katy said...

HOLY SHIT I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME!!!!
like for example right now im suppose to be doing my project but i was so pissed at myself for being add that i somehow ended up on google googling "I HATE ADD" & then i found ur site & now im commenting on it & i feel exactly the same
it is a curse
i fucking hate it
so much
soooo muucchhhhhhhhhhh

Anonymous said...

Made me cry! Have felt this SAME frustration and haven't been able to express it so well.
I hate the sense that sometimes you "just don't get it".. the strange looks when your realize you've missed some social cue...the aw fuck, I forgot it... again.

Linda said...

I hate having it too. I found it by Googling I Hate ADD and here it is. It is 2:42am and I am still working on one bullet point in my resume I've been trying to get put together all day. I intended to have the whole resume done, but 'no' still working on 1 tenth of it.

Anonymous said...

I HATE HATE HATE having it! And I hate having a bloody poor memory (though standard memory tests put my memory in the top 5% of the population $%@^%)..and having to re-learn everthing again..to figure everything out all over again!

I HATE "not getting it too".

Whew! That felt good. Thanks mate :-)

Vivek said...

I HATE HATE HATE having it! And I hate having a bloody poor memory (though standard memory tests put my memory in the top 5% of the population $%@^%)..and having to re-learn everthing again..to figure everything out all over again!

I HATE "not getting it too".

Whew! That felt good. Thanks mate :-)

Anonymous said...

Ya Know......I have to agree with this whole thread 200%. I havent found anyone else who seems to have the same problems and all on the same level as me. Life seems it has been nothing but a constant struggle for me since around the start of middle school.(im 22). I REALLY don't know what to do anymore! Like everyone else.....i searched "I hate ADD" and found this...because I really FUCKING hate it too. I get embarrassed when I can't perform my duties at work in a productive and efficient manner...and ofcourse every person that I work around dosen't see me as ADD, they see me as someone who can't remember things, is often confused, doesn't listen, and probably stupid but I must say I would have to commence to beating someones ass if they had the nerve to say that. I just dont know what to do anymore.It has affected my relationships with girls and my guy friends. I could go on and on but by the sounds of it, everyone on this blog knows exactly where I'm comming from.... This is the first time I have actually been able to express myself too someone(s) who actually understand what I am feeling. Even my parents think it is something that I should have and will grow out ....They said they had it when they were young and that It just goes away...even though Im only home with the folks a few days out of the week...home life is very stresfull....They just DO NOT understand...... I LOVE music and I'm aware that ADD can enhance a person's creative side and I believe that is very true. Every time I listen to a song I can impervise my own rhythms and riffs\etc in my head but I can't seemed to stay focused long enough to teach myself.IT SUCKS. Anyways..let me stop before I run out of room...If ANYONE wants to talk more about this feel free to hit me up. I'm glad I found this site! My E-Mail: Kippd_av@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

This brought a smile and a sigh of relief knowing that at least 9 of us share same thoughts, frustrations, and low self-esteem issues everyday like myself.

I seriously think we (people with ADD) are the hardest working, most loyal, and honest people in our society because we try so fucking hard to just fit in and maintain relationships. Some days i feel like i'm in total control, and other days i cannot control myself.

What frustrates me the most about having ADD, is the feeling of being behind in the world, i'm 21 and i'm just figuring out things that people have figured out by 16... I would have killed to have this knowledge if I had only ''paid attention''

It's a struggle we face each passing day, and yet i'm pretty confident our loved ones don't really understand how serious having ADD is.

My heart goes out to all of you, in a weird way we're all in this together. (no gay vibes)

Anonymous said...

Fun fact:

There are roughly 7,000,000,000 in the world, and it's said that 5% of the population is diagnosed with ADD

5% of 7 billion is 350,000,000.

350 million people on this floating rock we call earth have the exact same curse as we do.

suddenly i'm not as angry anymore after putting this into perspective

sources:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_attention-deficit_disorder

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_population

Anonymous said...

Oh my GOD. I am with you 100%. I literally just googled "I HATE HAVING ADD" because I can't focus on my (late) project because I procrastinated and distracted myself with stupid little things because I can't focus worth shit on concrete and asphalt FUCK. I AM OFF MY CONCERTA AND THAT IS A BAD THING.

Anonymous said...

Trust me I feel your pain! I am an ADDer myself! I hate the procrastination and I hate it when people treat me like I'm stupid!

Anonymous said...

I feel the exact same way!!! I've struggled with it my whole life, the homework, paying attention during classes, immense feelings of frustration because I can't focus for freaking 10 minutes on something without getting distracted, and even other must-needed skills like driving, listening to people without zoning out and so on...I feel like I have to work 10x harder than everyone else just to stay on the same page as them...I finally got properly diagnosed a few days ago...Trying out medications. When I'm on them, I feel like, shit, this is how everyone else works/thinks? It feels like I put new glasses on for the first time..and then when the meds run out in the evening, I feel my ADD self kick in again and it depresses me...I hope my pdoc can tweak the meds so I get better coverage...I wish I didn't have to be on meds at all to function "normally."

Sal M said...

I agree with this shit 100%!!! I HATE ITTTTT!!!! I take like 1.5 hours to read like 20 of 60 pages assigned of a Greek epic poem in English class and even after that, I still haven't completely grasped what I've read. And this is only if I'm lucky enough to get myself to sit down and read it.

I'm chapters and sections behind in 3 of my 4 classes and I'm busting my ass to get close to being caught up, but I always feel like I'm too slow to ever get anywhere near caught up without studying constantly, but studying constantly is impossible for me cuz I lose ability to stay focused fast.

I love music, movies and stand-up comedy, as well as video games & anime, but I can't even focus on enjoying the things I like anymore because I'm too worried about failing.

A.D.D sucks D.I.C.K

Anonymous said...

I feel everybody's pain. Like many of the commenters I typed in ADD and I ran into this blog. I was diagnosed with it in college and it made the experience hell, especially with deadlines. But you know what is even worse than not being able to do things "normally" ? It is the fucking medication. Everytime I use it I feel like Im zoning out and fidgety and angry. Ritalin and Aderall work wonders when it comes to getting things done, but it brings with it symptoms of depression. What is worse is knowing that it is a life sentence.

Cheryl said...

Am so glad I found all of you and I totally agree with the comments about others telling us how creative and gifted we are because we have ADD. To that I say, "I can't get organized enough to ever have time to be creative." I am always, always, always spending my time trying to get my life together, clutter free and organized. Sometimes, I do get so overwhelmed that I just shut down. Other times, I make good progress, only to have to hit another area that is a mess. I also have Epstein-Barr which makes energy levels low a good part of the time. I have to take many supplements and sometimes forget....I need a written chart so that I mark off things each day or I even forget whether I have taken them. I can't commit to much of anything because I can't trust myself to follow through. I have to take Adderall to get anything done and am also treated for depression---trying to get off of those meds because of long term health effects. I agree that every day is a struggle, every responsibility is difficult. I tried a professional organizer but couldn't afford to continue...she sat and helped me make decisions about paperwork, which was good, but I need someone to actually get in there and work beside me to get it under control. Am thinking of using an ADD coach. I think we all need enough money to hire secretaries so we can spend our time doing something else. Finding all of you and hearing you say what I feel is so helpful because I have been saying for a very long time that "I hate my ADD" and what it does in my life. I know I need to exercise, take Omegas, etc. and I do try to but need to improve. Wish there were some way to help each other. Anyway, thanks for sharing. Let's all stay courageous in finding ways to improve our lives. Blessings and Compassion to You All.....

Anonymous said...

I hate ADD and what it is doing to our daughter and our family life. How can I make her care about homework and school work? What motivates someone with ADD that struggles so much just to stay on task. Meds wear off to quickly and I HATE the thought of double dosing with two different meds just to get her through her day. She is in 5th grade so smart but just doesn't care about homework or schoolwork. Case in point, math test score 94%., math homework score 48% (this is even with special help from teacher (fewer problems, special grid paper)) Grades mean nothing to her. Help! Advice, I am at a loss.

Anonymous said...

I just literally posted hate having A.d.d its by far the worst thing ever when people tell me to focus its a fukcing insult because its an ability that i don't have.but when i tell my mom thats its really hard for me to focus she tells me how can you focus on memeorizig a rap and not homework , a.d.d are extremely smart at things that are given to them in a fun way. I fucking hate having a.d.d we don't mean to be rude and we can't focus if we want to .when people take it as a joking i wish i could just slap them in the face with a chair. Having a.d.d made me start looking at my wrist's every day it seriously is a curse and I'm only 15 , but seriously don't cut yourself your way better ,after all we are unique.this is my favorite song by far -BLAME IT ON MY A.D.D BABYY -sail.