Friday, 27 February 2009
Circumcision Foreskins and Julius Malema. Eventually someone managed to rattle that idiot Julius Malema. I know this is old news already, but this is classic ADD. A topic will get stuck in you head and even if everybody else have moved on, you’re still there. That idiot Julius Malema have been insulting the world and his wife and getting away with it. Now he is upset because Helen Zille called him an Inkwenkwe. It is a Xhosa word for ‘boy’, but it also implies an uncircumcised boy who has not yet been through the traditional Xhosa Initiation Rites. It boils down to meaning someone with no authority whom should not be taken seriously. Now that idiot Julius Malema claims that Helen Zille is going below the belt with her comments. While we’re on the topic… I am getting mortally tired and unutterably weary of the whole circumcision discussion. Open a Men’s Health, FHM, Esquire etc and you’ll find a debate on circumcision. To the participants of this debate, I want to say: “You have a penis, for crying out loud! Stand up and be counted as a man and stop crying whether you should have an extra piece of skin or not!” One of the strangest relics that existed in the Roman Catholic Church surely must be the Holy Prepuce. The Holy Prepuce was believed to be Christ’s foreskin which was kept as a relic after he was circumcised according to Jewish Custom. At some stage hundreds of little pieces of shrivelled skin all claiming to be the Holy Prepuce existed all over Europe. This may have been one of the reasons why the Catholic Church at some point in time proclaimed the Holy Prepuce not to be a relic any longer. I am not one for poetry. I don’t get it. Maybe I am to shallow. The only form of poetry I like is limericks. Some won’t even call it poetry, as it is a type of rhyme really. Here is one of my favourites, dealing with the topic at hand: There was a man from Bombay who fashioned a cunt out of clay the heat of his prick then turned it to brick and chafed all his foreskin away. We weren’t married long when I had to go for a sinus operation. When I came to from the anaesthesia (I am told) I pulled all the IVs from my arm, making a bloody mess. I started swearing at the nurses and the moment I saw Lamb I asked her whether they circumcised me while I was under. Only when she assured me that they didn’t I calmed down, after which I told her that I was hungry and wanted food that very instant. Luckily I don’t remember any of this. So this is me on the topic of circumcision, foreskins and Julius Malema.
Thursday, 26 February 2009
Baconnaise is the ultimate bacon flavoured spread. Use it on sandwiches, salads, dips, sauces, chicken, fish & fries. Vegetarian safe – So proclaims the product’s website http://www.baconnaise.com/. How is this for a success story? To guys from the US, Justin & Dave, developed bacon flavoured salt, which they called Bacon Salt. They used the $5000 which Dave’s 3 year old son won from America’s Funniest Home Videos and started marketing the product. I particularly like their slogan – “Everything should taste like bacon”. They have done so well now (and the bacon salt product range is staggering – ranging from different wood flavours, such as hickory & apple wood to bacon flavoured lip balm). And now they’re launching their second product – baconnaise. Now, unfortunately, we do not have this in South Africa. Good cooking tip from me though, get some smoked paprika from woollies – it also gives a nice smoky taste to dishes like stews, soups, pasta etc, or use in marinades.