Monday, 22 November 2010

Don't touch my wife on her studio!

I haven’t given the whole Movember thing enough attention, although my snor is coming along nicely. My hair grows extremely fast and gets real curly, so by last week the curly hair and wide moustache made me look like a 70’s porrrnstarrr.


Soooo, I decided it was time for a haircut. I am very often dissatisfied with the haircuts I receive, since it only looks good for 1 day. Because of the curly hair, I cannot just have it trimmed with a trimmer. (I only do it for the savathon in march though). Since I drive past Tanaz hair salon in Corlett drive every day, and since I know they have a barber shop as well, I decided to give them a try. The stylist really knew what he was doing and I got a great haircut. (They need to use that funny scissors with the toothy comb-like blades to thin out my masses of hair and tame the curls). First time in my life I had my hair cut by an Indian guy. His name is Abdul and I will definitely go back. In fact, come 1st Dec, I think I am going to get my snor shaved off there!

My appearance is also not enhanced by the fact that I drove over my brand new glasses, and now having to wear a very old pair.

Saturday we went to see the pantomime at the Jo’burg theatre (Robinson Crusoe and the Caribbean Pirates). It was our company’s year-end function and the boss sponsored the play as well as lunch beforehand (and drinks, and parking vouchers and programmes). We were really looking forward and arranged to drop Image off at Lamb’s sister in Kempton Park. On our way there we had such a spectacular fight in the car, that by the time we reached Kempton Park, Lamb stated that she wished we stayed at home. I nearly rolled the car, so fast I turned around and started speeding back to V-town. We were already passing Bedfordview when Lamb said, “Ok, you’ve proved your point now, turn back again!” So there we were, on our way to Kempton Park yet again. We dropped Image off and I sped through Bruma, Bez Valley, Doornfontein & Braamfontein and got us to the Jo’burg / Civic / Nelson Mandela / whatever-the-latest-name-is-theatre not too late.

Lamb was her gregarious self (despite her chronic laryngitis which she picked up on account of talking REAL loud and being a teacher, which necessitates her to talk REAL loud for long periods of time – but more about that later). So as per usual Lamb was going on regaling everyone with funny anecdotes – she can make the most boring and insignificant event sound hysterically funny, when suddenly some COW from Scotland told Lamb that one of her stories was hardly the topic for dinner conversation! Now listen, I am allowed to fight with my wife, but if YOU touch HER on her studio, you touch ME on my studio! So off I went and told the whole table of my experience as Social Worker in the UK and that I think the dole has made the Brits weak, and how undisciplined their children are and that they all need a jolly good hiding, and teenage pregnancies just to get a flat and higher dole, and how the Brits think they can say whatever they want, whenever they want and to whom they want. A deathly silence went down all around the table and I ended my rant by saying: “Anyone for dessert?”

I ignored this woman flat out for the rest of the event and I could see that she was real uncomfortable. A pity though, because her husband is very nice and I wanted to talk to him – he has some very interesting job as social media analyst (on the security side) and he gets used by companies, governments etc.

Janice Honeyman & the cast outdid themselves again and the panto was very entertaining. One of the characters parodied Helen Zille and that was extremely funny!

I continued being contrary for the rest of the weekend...


Anonymous said...

You're going to have to post a picture of your new haircut :)

Good on you for standing up for your wive. It makes me like you even more!

Hardspear said...

I'll post one today or tomorrow!

Julia said...

I had to laugh at the way you handled it. So funny!
I think you saved your wife's studio and you definitely had a brilliant comeback!

Angel said...

So what on earth was Lamb talking about that this woman considered "not dinner conversation"?!!?!

Hardspear said...

Angel - she said "have you noticed how the men disappear when a baby's nappy needs changing" - that's all - she did not describe the content of a dirty nappy or anything gross.