Five kinds of Mushroom Risotto with Black Truffle Aroma

This is the ultimate in decadence and sort of inspired by Delia Smith.... Risotto with all the mushrooms you can find.

Recently I was invited to a cook-off. The idea was for the guys (French Rock the convener, Home Ruler the publisher, Jacob my Brother-in-Law and me) to do the cook-off and impress the ladies in their lives (or some of their lives – French Rock is not what you would call a ladies-man). Each participant had to make 2 dishes. I made my Borscht (beetroot soup) for starters and the most decadent Mushroom Risotto for a side. The other guys made a.o. pork neck with exotic spices & sticky sauce, aubergine rolls with goat’s cheese stuffing, fresh steamed vegetables and a chocolate terrine.
I gave the beetroot soup a little Hungarian inspiration by using Kolbasz Sausage to flavour, but I’ll do another post on that. Let’s get to the Risotto. You’ll need the following:

2-3 l stock. If you can find – use Telma mushroom stock cubes – if not – make chicken stock

2 cups risotto rice

2x50 g butter

250 ml dry white wine

All the different kinds mushrooms you can lay your hands on. If you can only find button mushrooms, no problem, but it is funner (Phoebe-ism) if you can use more. Woolworths and P’nP stock quite a selection these days. I, J. Hardspear de la Azotea used these mushrooms:

-Enoki

-Shiitake

-White Button

-Portabellini

-Dried Porcini

juice of half a lemon

2 cloves of garlic – mashed

enough freshly grated parmesan/pecorino combo. (Delia Smith would insist on the very original Parmigianio Reggiano and Pecorino Romano)

freshly ground black pepper

Few drops of Black Truffle Aroma (Friend Cara Noir imported it from France and gave me some) OR Truffle infused oil.

Fresh Parsley (chopped)

An hour before the time heat the wine till very warm, but not boiling and soak the Porcini in the wine. After 1 hour drain, but keep the liquid.

Slice and sauté the button-, portabellini and shiitake mushrooms in butter and add the Porcini & Truffle oil. Saute the Enoki separately and only very briefly.

Keep the stock warm on the stove and a ladle handy. Melt butter in a large heavy-bottomed saucepan (medium-low heat). Add garlic and rice and stir till all the rice grains are covered and glistening. Add the liquor drained from the porcini. Stir continuously. As soon as most of the fluid has been absorbed by the rice, add a ladle of stock. Repeat the process till the rice is al dente (soft but firm). It should look creamy, but not mushy or watery. This should take about 20 minutes and you should have used most (if not all) of the stock. Add the Porcini, Portabellini, Shiitake mix

Add half of the pecorino/parmesan mix and give a good stir - serve the rest of the grated cheese at the table. Add a little black pepper, lemon juice and garnish with enoki mushrooms & parsley.

Risotto MUST go from stove to plate and be eaten immediately.

Risotto is actually a better dish on its own with a simple salad. I wouldn’t make it as a side again.

Trying to format a Microsoft Word Document created by someone else...

Today I am doing a Vital Statistics Graph post for a change...(inspired by GraphJam), but born out of my own frustration.


Have you ever wanted to make a small change to a Microsoft Word Document created by someone else? A task which you thought would take 30 seconds, leaves you tearing your hair an hour later. Trying to make this little change completely disturbed the auto numbering.


You immediately turn on the hidden formatting symbols to try and figure out what the other person/idiot/alien from outer space did. You find that the imbecile used a combination of automatic numbering, manual numbering, the tab button and even the spacebar to put the start of different lines underneath each other.


I have been using MS Word extensively since its DOS days. I consider myself to be an advanced user, but the mess some morons create in a word document is irreparable.


It’s sometimes easier to re-type the whole damn thing.

Deep fried Cheese Cake – Paula Deen shows how

As part of the ‘Weird Food’ posts I sometimes do, I am going to create a sub-category, called “you can deep fry anything”. Here is the first one. I have done a post on Paula Deen before. Although all her recipes will increase your cholesterol considerably, I cannot help but love her. Paula Deen is is an American cook, restaurateur, author, actress and Emmy Award-winning television personality. When younger, Paula Deen suffered from agoraphobia (fear of public and/or unfamiliar places, especially large, open, spaces such as shopping malls or airports). She never left her house. Then one day she started cooking and baking and had her sons deliver the stuff she made. Immersing herself in making food and money from it, she overcame her anxiety disorder. This is a short clip, you HAVE to see this.

Braai 4 Heritage 2010 - Sosaties

My tweede Afrikaanse post. Net betyds vir Nasionale Braaidag. Ek het nou al soveel keer op hierdie blog gebrag met die sosatie kompetisie wat ek in die Sarie-Kos gewen het, maar ek het nog nooit die resep gepos nie. Hier is die storie wat ek bygeskryf het om die redakteurs se aandat te trek en die resep aan die einde Sarie het my storie bietie ge-edit, maar hier is die oorspronklike soos ek dit ingestuur het. As ‘n mens darem op ‘n Saterdag so by ‘n kleindorpie Boeremark rondloop, kan die reuk van sosaties wat braai by die Hervormde Kerk se stalletjie jou lelik honger maak. Synde dat die Susters by die Hervormde Kerk egter nie hulle geheime resep wil deel nie, het ek besluit om my eie te ontwikkel vir hierdie kompetisie. Ek wou al lankal deelneem, maar ek het nie ‘n lekker melktert resep nie en hoewel ek ‘n lekker tamatie en uiesmoor maak, is dit niks uitsonderlik nie. Ek het wel ‘n ou beproefde familieresep vir sosaties, maar ek het besluit om ook aan die voete van Gamaliël te gaan sit en kers opsteek. Ja, ek het besluit om die Groot Gewere te raadpleeg. So vervolgens die Groot Gewere wie ek geraadpleeg het en hoekom: 1. Mevrou S. Van H. Tulleken. Haar boek, Die Praktiese Kookboek vir Suid-Afrika was die eerste resepteboek wat, sover as wat ek kan agterkom, in Afrikaans gepubliseer is. Die voorwoord deur Tannie Isie Smuts is gedateer Desember 1922. Ek kry partykeer ‘n baie groot knop in my keel as ek my kopie van hierdie boek deurblaai. Dit het oorspronklik aan my Ma se Tannie Debora Baasden behoort. Tannie Debora, of Tan soos ons haar genoem het, se teenwoordigheid is aanvoelbaar in die boek. Oral val ou poskaarte van Rhodesië en troukaartjies van vergete familielede uit waarop Tan haastig resepte neergeskryf het. Ook het Tan ‘n baie duidelike regmerk gemaak by resepte van Mev. Van Tulleken wat sy gereeld met sukses gemaak het. Mevrou van Tulleken het drie pond vleis gebruik haar resep en sy praat nog van knoflok. 2. S.J.A. de Villiers. Jou Ouma se Kook en Geniet was blou-groen, jou Ma s’n was rooi en joune het ‘n volkleurfoto van gebraaide skaapboud op die voorblad. Daar is twee resepte vir sosaties in – een gewoon en een grootmaat. 3. Sannie Smit. Sannie was die destydse hoof huishoudkundige by die Vleisraad gewees. Sy kon nou vir jou ‘n stuk vleis gaarmaak! Ek wens ek het die Afrikaanse uitgawe gehad, maar ek is steeds dankbaar vir my All Colour South African Cookbook wat ek in ‘n tweedehandse boekwinkel opgespoor het. Voor in die boek in blou ink drukskrif staan geskryf: “To our Mother on the occasion of our first Christmas 1985 in South Africa. All our love. David and Ian.” Te wyte aan die baie spatsels op die bladsy vir Roast Beef & Yorkshire Pudding was die Tannie helaas meer partydig teenoor die kos van die land van haar herkoms. Ewenwel, Sannie se resep was die inspirasie vir die ‘dubbel gemarineerd’. 4. Cass Abrahams. Die oorsprong van die sosatie is immers Kaap-Maleis. Cass het Kaap-Maleis weer op die map geplaas en blykbaar is Madiba gaande na haar kos. Cass bedien die sosaties op rys met die marinadesous bo-oor geskep. 5. Annette Human. Hier praat ons van snelvuur grofgeskut. Hier praat ons van een van die heel grootste invloede van wat op tafels reg oor die land verskyn het. Sonder Annette Human het ons almal nog elke aand rys, vleis en aartappels met two veg geëet. Annette het voormalige kontinuïteitsaanbieder en TV persoonlikheid Rita van den Heever se sosatieresep met ons gedeel. Intussen het Carmen Niehaus Wenresepte bewonderingswaardig opgedateer vir die Nuwe Millennium. 6. Shirley Guy & Marty Klinzman – Die Suid-Afrikaanse Braaiketel-Kookboek. Ons Afrikaanse mans is koning agter die rooster, maar hier is twee Engelse Anties wat ook kán braai! Hulle maak hulle sosaties eers op die indirekte metode in ‘n braaiketel gaar, waarna hulle dit vinnig direk op die kole sit vir die “tradisionele swart puntjies”. 7. My Tannie Julie. Hare is die familieresep. Volgens Tannie Julie is die geheim dat die uie goed moet braai. Tannie Julie gebruik ook blatjang in haar resep. 8. Skoonma Toekie. Nie haar sosatieresep nie, maar die sous vir haar kerrievis. Ma Toeke se kerrievis is selfs lekkerder as wat my Ouma Rosie s’n was! Nou moet julle weet! 9. Cook Sister. Jeanne Horak-Druif is ‘n Suid-Afrikaner wat in London woon en haar internet blog genaamd ‘Cook Sister’ is ongelooflik suksesvol. Sy neem ook watertand fotos van haar disse en ek-wens-ek-was-daar fotos van die plekke wat sy besoek. Cook Sister is al verskeie kere bekroon by die jaarlikse South African Blog Awards. In 2009 het sy weer met die prys vir die beste kos-blog weggeloop. In Cook Sister se fassinerende blog inskrywing van 15 September 2006 deel sy ‘n ene Cecil se sosatieresep met haar lesers en skryf sy oor die etimologie van die woord ‘sosatie’ asook oor die oorsprong van die sosatie self. Boerekos met ‘n naam wat Indonesies klink en wat Midde-Oosters proe? Cook Sister het ook háár ghoeroe geraadpleeg en hulle bespiegel... Gaan lees gerus. http://cooksister.typepad.com/cook_sister/2006/09/scenes_from_a_b_1.html Van die wat ek hier genoem het leef nog, ander is al dood. Van hulle is trendsetters gewees en ander die trendsetters van môre. Van hulle lewe voort in vergeelde bladsye en ander sweef in cyberspace. Van hulle is bekend en ander nie, maar dis by hulle almal wat ek inspirasie vir my resep gekry het. Daar is nog baie ander groot kos gewere in Suid-Afrika... Nettie Pikeur, Peter Veldsman, Pieter Pieterse, C. Louis Leipoldt, Lannice Snyman, Braam Kruger, Nataniël, Topsy Venter, Reuben Riffel, Prue Leith, Leatitia Prinsloo, my Ma By en nog te veel om op te noem. ‘n Ander dag vir bobotie of koeksusters of ‘n ietsie anders hoor ek weer by hulle. Mens moet jou bronne op die internet ook mooi kies. Wikipedia reken dat daar tamarinde pasta by die sosatiemarinade kom. Nee wat, sê ek, hou die tamarinde pasta vir Denningvleis. Selfs die Larousse Gastronomique maak melding van sosaties in die inskrywing oor Afrique du Sud. So na al die verstommende inspirasie wat ek by die Groot Gewere opgedoen het, het ek my hart gevolg met die resep en gehoop ek verstaan vir Sarie reg – ons soek iets wat duidelik herkenbaar is as ‘n sosatie en nie ‘n ander gerygde ding soos ‘n kebab of espatada nie, ons soek ietsie uniek en ons soek daardie persoonlike stempel. So gaan kuier vroulief, Lam en my rooikop baba by Ouma Ooi in Klerksdorp. Ek sit met my Tupper Marinade bak vol sosaties alleen by die huis. Kennelik is my homeboy Oorwinnaar, mos die beter braaier en kort voor lank staan ons voor sy braai en die wonderlikste sosatie rook vul Vereeniging se winterkoue aandlug. (Gits, nou klink ek soos Riaan Cruywagen in die Bronx!) Die glas Laborie Shiraz in my hand is voorbarig diep en spesery en laat hom nie deur ‘n sosatie intimideer nie – die perfekte drink en eet kombinasie! En die sosatie? Hy proe soos sosatie met nog iets mistiek en subtiel en absoluut murgsag! Die ‘dubbel gemarineerd’ te danke ja! Ek is tevrede en ek en Nico sit tot laatnag en vertel Langenhoven stories en wens ons het ‘n Mercedes Gull-wing of ‘n lekker muscle car Chev of Ford gehad wat hard brul. Ons bly nie verniet in V-Town nie. Vriend Oorwinnaar se vrou Rowwe Eiland het vergeet om vir Belinha te laat weet ons eet sosaties vanaand en sy moenie kook nie, so vir bykos het ons gestoofde skaapnek, patats, wortels en aartappels gehad en tuisnywerheid melktert vir nagereg. Hoekom nie? So, na ek hom nou ook geproe het, uiteindelik my resep: Wenke: · Moenie die blokkies vleis te klein sny nie. (Maar nou ook nie hompe nie) · Gebruik eerder hout of bamboes stokkies (skewers) as metal (die vleis gly rond op metaalpenne en draai dan moeilik om). · Onthou om ook die stokkies oornag in water te week – dan brand hulle nie maklik nie. · Moenie die blokkies vleis te styf op die stokkies ryg nie. · Braai op ‘n rooster oor ‘n vuur. Jy gaan nie naby dieselfde resultate in ‘n pan, in die oond of op ‘n braaiplaat kry nie. Resep – Vleis (gebruik goeie gehalte vleis, daar is niks so teleurstellend soos taai seningrige sosaties nie) 1 kg lamsboud ontbeen en in blokkies gesny 1 kg bees kruisskyf in blokkies gesny (ons rek hom – ontbeende lamsboud is baie duur) 200 g varkspek in dun skyfies gesny Marinade 1 (hiermee doen ons ‘n bietjie opdatering met ‘n effense Indiese inslag) 500 ml natuurlike ongegeurde joghurt 2 huisies knoffel fyngedruk 10 ml garam masala sap en gerasperde skil van ‘n halwe suurlemoen (my stempel – ek is gek na suurlemoene en gebruik dit graag in kos) Marinade 2 (vir daai lekker outydse sosatie smaak) 3 groot uie in ringe gesny 125 ml fyn appelkooskonfyt 250 ml perske- of vrugteblatjang 500 ml bruin asyn 250 ml rooibostee (vir ‘n bietjie balans, die marinade is baie skerp) 45 ml matige kerriepoeier 20 ml borrie 10 ml fyn gemmer 20 ml koljandersade fyngestamp 5 heel naeltjies 3 lourierblare gebreek sap en gerasperde skil van ‘n halwe suurlemoen (ons stempel hom sommer weer) 10 ml sout 75 ml kookolie Gedroogde appelkose vir tussenin (opsioneel – party hou daarvan ander nie) Metode Meng al die bestandele vir die eerste marinade. Gooi die vleis by en maak seker dat die marinade al die blokkies vleis goed bedek. Marineer oornag in die yskas. Maak solank die tweede marinade en hou in ‘n lugdigte houer in die yskas tot die volgende dag benodig. Braai die uie in die olie stadig oor lae hitte tot deurskynend, maar nie bruin. Voeg kerrie, borrie, gemmer, koljander, naeltjies, sout en lourierblare by. Volg dan met suurlemoen sap en skil, appelkooskonfyt, blatjang, asyn en rooibostee. Prut stadig vir so 15 minute en laat goed afkoel. Sodra die vleis oornag in die eerste marinade gelê het, meng tweede marinade by en marineer weereens oornag. Ryg die blokkies vleis op sosatiestokkies en probeer om die bief en lam blokkies af te wissel en ‘n skyfie varkspek so tussen elke tweede, derde blokkie. Weereens, dis sosaties die, nie kebabs nie, so persoonlik sal ek nie nog pynappel, uie, groen- of rooipeper stukke tussenin sit nie. Dalk nog gedroogde appelkose, maar onthou om dit ook in rooibostee te week as dit nie van die sagte Turkse soort is nie. Ek het lang stokkies gebruik en so ‘n dosyn lekker groot sosaties uitgekry. Braai die sosaties stadig oor matige kole tot deurgaar maar nog sappig binne en mooi bruin buite. Onthou die baie suiker van die appelkooskonfyt en blatjang in die marinade brand maklik aan. Nog bietjie sout kan oorgestrooi word terwyl die sosaties braai. Bedruip ook met nog ‘n bietjie van die marinadesous terwyl dit braai. Dien op met jou gunsteling braai bykos.

Penile Plethysmograph, the Penis Polygraph or Dick Lie Detector

Oh, I do not know whether it is a good thing or not that you cannot pick up one of these from Dischem or not. A Penile Plethysmograph is a device which measures changes in blood flow in the penis. There are two types. One is like a blood pressure monitor which involves an inflatable cuff and mercury and the other an airtight tube which is inserted over the penis and measures the displacement of air. Basically it boils down to being a hard-on detector. Why on earth would you want that? Well it is for one used to detect sexual arousal at the presentation of certain stimuli. It was developed in the 50’s in the former Czechoslovakia when they threw you in prison if you were gay. So if any doubt existed, they connected the guy in question’s member to this contraption, showed him homosexual pornography and if he dared to wood, he got thrown into jail. Today it is still used in many countries with paedophiles, though there is a lot of controversy over the validity of the test results, and is often not regarded as admissible evidence in court. It is also used to measure progress after certain types of surgery to correct erectile dysfunction. I knew a couple once, the girl was a bit of a control freak. When they used to watch movies (Mainstream NOT porn) and if there happened to be a love scene in the movie, the girl would feel between the guy’s legs, and woe betide him should there even be the slightest stirring. I think she would have loved to have a penile plethysmograph. When I stumbled upon this on the Net, I had such a good laugh. It is one of those topics which can make your imagination run wild...

ADD & irritation

Yesterday I was stuck in traffic for 3 hours on my to work. My levels of frustration hit maximum, and I was NEVER able to calm down again for the rest of the day. I left very early this morning, but I have still not recovered completely. It feels as if all my synapses are going bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzzzzzzz zt zt zt bzzzz. On days like yesterday not even Ritalin helps.

Hardspear now on twitter

I, J. Hardspear de la Azotea finally started twittering. I have had an account for ages, never used it though.

There are no Trekkies in Joburg...

Everytime someone gives me a gap in traffic, I boldly salute them with the Mr. Spock live-long-and-prosper Vulcan salute. This salute has been adopted by Trekkies (StarTrek freakazoid super fan nerds) all over the world. I also give the salute when I give someone else a gap by acknowledging their wave/flicker of thanks.

No one ever gave me the salute back yet. Once a guy smiled wryly. Come on Jozi – as you travel at WARP speed 0,000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001, cursing SANRAL and the nerd with the thick black framed glasses needs a gap, give way, return his salute, have a chuckle for even serious, calculating super-rational Vulcans from space are supporting Lead SA.

Cell C & Trevor Noah a month down the line!

Cell C & Trevor Noah received a lot of bad publicity because of their recent ad-campaign. I know I am a month late with my 2cents worth, but I have been wanting to do a post about this, but I just did not get round to it. Also, I think it is a good time to reflect now. The ad campaign started with an anonymous user posting a clip of Trevor Noah on YouTube ranting about cellular service in South Africa. People started watching... Cell C then ‘discovered’ the clip and publicly responded to it. Soon after the ‘real’ ad-campaign begin. By this time everyone was listening. Now, many of the people who complained are extolled as being ‘Marketing Guru’s’. Quite a number of bloggers slammed the ad campaign as well. Some of the comments were that Cell C has damaged their own reputation with this. What I, J. Hardspear de la Azotea want to know, a month down the line after the initial hue and cry... Are those who initially condemned the manner in which Cell C & Trevor Noah used their respective positions to create a bogus situation, still of opinion that it was bad scheming? Can this stroke even be seen as unscrupulous? I think not. I think it was just the right mix of Viral Marketing combined with Astroturfing as well as focussed television, radio & print advertising. I think it is exceptional. The way in which social networking has redefined the way in which we communicate calls for new ways of marketing. It also lends itself wholly to methods such as Viral Marketing. Viral Marketing through social networks is just so much more effective than physical word-to-mouth. Everybody is doing it. Ola just did it with their new Magnum ad campaign. The advertisements are still to be launched, but they started the campaign with a video on YouTube, called Truck Jacking in Jozi. They only recently claimed responsibility for the video. Astroturfing is an entirely different matter altogether. AstroTurf is a brand of artificial lawn, the brand name widely applied to all different brands of fake grass. (After this winter I think I should replace my lawn with AstroTurf. I always have images of lurid green grass mats surrounding an open grave & grieving people in a dusty, dull brown cemetery). Sorry... I am digressing. In order to do the ‘we-are-addressing-the-concerns-of-the-people-at-grass-root-level’ routine politicians and their spin doctors develop ploys to make it look as if their agendas actually spring forth from the needs & wants of the constituents. This nifty trick has been adopted by marketing- and advertising agencies in order to lend authenticity to what they peddle. In the English speaking countries of the world we are all tend to admire the way upper-class Brits verbalize and articulate themselves. Not to talk about the accent. It is awe-inspiring & intimidating at the same time. Yet...you gotta appreciate the easy way in which the Americans go about with the English Language. Prime example above... calling the artificial engineering of messages into looking as if coming from grass-root level – Astroturfing! So after all the sneaky viral marketing with the Trevor Noah clip on YouTube and astroturfing of ‘responding’ to Trevor Noah in the media, Cell C finally launched stage 3 – a very visible media advertising campaign. Beautifully designed billboard posters, funny radio ads and sleek tv commercials. Just appreciate the colour scheme. Who would have thought shades of brown can look crisp, clear, corporate and yet friendly? I am sure that I fall in a number of the cellular networks in SA’s product markets. I have a cellphone device, which I get with my voice contract. Then the voice contract itself. Furthermore the wireless 3G data device and the data contract. I use all of these products for both business & private needs. Heaven knows what LSM they would put me in. From my perspective though, the current Cell C media adverts appeal to me as user of all of the above products. I am with Vodacom and like most cellular users in SA I am: · Fed up with the high cellphone bills. (I really try to watch my usage) · Fed up with the high internet connectivity cost. (As consultant I move around too much to use fixed line internet) · Fed up with poor reception, dropped calls etc. · Fed up with poor & slow internet connectivity. (oh, by the way, what happened to the bigg-ass high speed under-the-sea cable which would have dragged Africa into a (cheaper) internet age?) I have not yet moved to another cellular service provider because I am not convinced that MTN or Cell C can provide me with any better service than Vodacom does. Everyone I know have the same complaints, irrespective of their provider. Sooooo.... Inspired by the ad campaign, I decided to take up Trevor Noah and drop him a message. As I was typing the message on the Cell C site, telling him that if he can address my issues, I will move to Cell C, I lost internet connection. I did not bother to go back. Easily influenced as I am, I heard Vodacom’s ad on the radio, offering 1GIG Data for R289 per month, including a new Broadband modem. I went and got mine straight away, forgetting all about Cell C, till the next time Trevor Noah glowered at me from a billboard next to the highway. I even got a GIG data free (between 12:00am and 05:00am). Yay! Like I am going to use it. Nobody even watches PORN at that time of night! And what time I had to get the new modem working!! In the end I had to take it in to a Vodacom Customer Care Walk in Centre. Please remember the poken competition – see post below. Closing Date is the 30th of September 2010. You need to be situated in SA to apply.