Swearing in Afrikaans

Vloek in Afrikaans – Swearing in Afrikaans. I love English and apart from making grammar mistakes here and there, I think I can express myself in English fairly well. I find English seriously lacking when I need to swear though. It is during times like the past week and especially today that I feel privileged to call Afrikaans my native tongue. The vast array of swearwords, expletives, invective and insult Afrikaans provides are extremely satisfying. They are nicer to use also, for Afrikaans gutturals, explosives and that lekker rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, make the swearwords sound more intense and they are nicer in the mouth as compared to English. (Think of – gat, poephol, donner, bliksem, moer and kak – to only name a few of the mild ones). ((to see some of the more serious stuff go to this swearsaurus and click on the Afrikaans tab – most other languages are also represented there)) Afrikaans swearwords also string together so nicely. A Portuguese speaking person may beat me in a swearing contest, but being raised conservative Calvinistic I may not blaspheme and I do not have access to the Virgin and all the Saints. Where I can swear in sentences, the Portuguese can swear in paragraphs. What prompted this? My short term insurance of course! Our house was broken into last week on the ONE day we were in such a hurry that we forgot to activate the alarm. Now every day since we’ve submitted the claim, our insurance wants some more corroborating documents. Proof of ownership (sound system & digital camera were stolen). The moment I send what they require off, they reply with a request for something else. I understand that people defraud them and that they need to make certain that my claim is legit. But I am honest, I did not lie about activating the alarm and for crying out loud, could they not have given me a list of what they require right from the start!? Today they want a 3 Month activation report from the Armed Response/Monitoring Company. I phoned the company to be told that they have gone onto a new system a week ago and that the old system with the history is now on a computer not connected to the network or a printer etc etc. The girl from the security firm I spoke to was extremely friendly and helpful, but not knowledgeable regarding IT matters. I am sure one would be able to download the history from their database into excel or some form of delimited output, or at the very least take screenshots or something. She promised however to get their IT service provider on the problem. In the meanwhile I am on heated coals to get this claim finalised. It frustrates me to spend so much time on it… Therefore the gevloekery.