Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Audible & Sony are enemies

So, I J. Hardspear de la Azotea, who have been told various things about ADD, have been given a Sony Walkman MP3 player by my wife Lamb, so that I can listen to my Audible audiobooks.  Much as I love my Kindle, it is a bit large to use a MP3.  Imagine running on the treadmill in the gym with a Kindle strapped to your waist!
Breathless with anticipation, I opened the Audible download manager on my PC.  With a shaking finger I clicked on ‘add new device’.  WTF????  No Sony devices are listed.
Now Audible SAY that you can download in MP3 format, but in fact it is actually their propriety .aa extension format. 
I jumped onto the web and found that I was not the only fool who were cheated by Audible and Sony.
I just want to tell Audible and Sony…  I SHALL find a way to listen to my Audible books on my Sony Walkman.  I have already downloaded 3 different DRM (Digital Rights Management) software removal tools.
I have a good mind and put Cory Doctorow onto the both of you!!!
(You do not need to read the rest of this, below just a little drivel to create some esss eeeeeee ooooohhh for this post.)
I unequivocally can't let Audible & Sony's misinformation and misguided arguments about nativism go by without comment. As you read this letter, bear in mind that there are many points of general dissatisfaction and dispute that should not, on any account, be overlooked in the discussion of the subjects here presented. One of these is that if we fail to pursue virtue and knowledge then all of our sacrifices will be as forgotten as the sand blowing across Ozymandias's dead empire. The "decay of that colossal wreck," as the poet Shelley puts it, teach us that Audible & Sony maintains that you and I are morally inferior to shabby nebbishes. While that happens to be pure fantasy from the world of make-believe, one important fact to consider is that you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: If it can't cite the basis for its claim that the best way to serve one's country is to turn over our country to tetchy, untoward euphuists then it should just shut up about it.
Audible & Sony has gotten a bit too palsy-walsy with inane gits. Surprised? You shouldn't be, because it's easy for armchair philosophers to theorize about Audible & Sony and about hypothetical solutions to our Audible & Sony problem. It's an entirely more difficult matter, however, when one considers that it insists that the peak of fashion is to waste everyone else's time. Sorry, Audible & Sony, but, with apologies to Gershwin, "it ain't necessarily so." Let me give you some important advice: Don't let Audible & Sony define you. Instead, show it that you're in control by searching for solutions that are more creative and constructive than the typically infelicific ones championed by mentally deficient gutter-dwellers. I contend that even the most unassertive milquetoast should be able to do something like that. At a minimum, you should remember that if we're to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to challenge Audible & Sony to defend its commentaries or else to change them.
The essential point, however, is the following: I strive to be consistent in my arguments. I can't say that I'm 100% true to this, but Audible & Sony's frequent vacillating leads me to believe that if we are powerless to hammer out solutions on the anvil of discourse, it is because we have allowed Audible & Sony to leave behind a wake of heinous reaction. Audible & Sony has somehow managed to get the media to pay rapt attention to its daffy fairy tales. I don't know what sort of Jedi mind control it's been using to pull that off, but I do know that we must eschew bad-tempered warlordism if we are ever to rub its nose in its own hypocrisy. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must sincerely pursue because every so often, Audible & Sony tries giving me reason to dig my own grave and pay for the shovel. Whenever it gets caught doing so it raises a terrific hullabaloo calculated to wage an odd sort of warfare upon a largely unprepared and unrecognizing public.
In this volatile political moment, we must cautiously guard against the dangers of dour antidisestablishmentarianism. That's just a fancy way of saying that I don't know which are worse, right-wing tyrants or left-wing tyrants. But I do know that if you hear Audible & Sony spouting off about how it answers to no one, you should tell it that its ethics will have consequences, intended and otherwise. Better yet, tell it to stop getting its opinions from inattentive smut peddlers and start doing some research of its own.
If history follows its course, it should be evident that there's an important difference between me and Audible & Sony. Namely, I am willing to die for my cause. Audible & Sony, in contrast, is willing to kill for its—or, if not to kill, at least to toy with our opinions. To overthrow western civilization through the destruction of its four pillars—family, nation, religion, and democracy—is Audible & Sony's objective, and furacious Bulverism is its method. I frequently talk about how Audible & Sony fears nothing more than the exposure of its motives and activities. I would drop the subject except that it claims to have turned over a new leaf shortly after getting caught trying to defile the present and destroy the future. This claim is an outright lie that is still being circulated by Audible & Sony's pals. The truth is that Audible & Sony has been known to say that mediocrity is a worthwhile goal. That notion is so nefarious, I hardly know where to begin refuting it.
Audible & Sony is never without a sex-crazed thing to say, but that's a story for another time. For now, I want to focus on the way that its protests are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're completely quasi-egocentric, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, I defy the abysmal ragamuffins who practice human sacrifice on a grand scale in some sort of deceitful death cult, and I defy the powers of darkness that they represent.
You know what we'd have if everybody wanted to sound the standard "they're out to get us" call and rally Audible & Sony's minions to make bribery legal and part of business as usual? Total chaos. Presentism, imperialism, and factionalism follow Audible & Sony's footsteps. Wherever it goes, such things are sure to sprout up. The implication is that Audible & Sony's views raise a number of brow-furrowing questions. I'm referring to questions such as, "What happened to Audible & Sony's common sense?" It's questions like that that get people thinking about how if Audible & Sony gets its way, I might very well abandon all hope.
If one believes statements like, "Audible & Sony would never dream of inciting racial hatred," one is, in effect, supporting impetuous jerks. Rather than respond to my letters with reasoned arguments, Audible & Sony prefers to inject even more fear and divisiveness into political campaigns. Although this method of attack is unparalleled in any other sphere of literary controversy it does prove that Audible & Sony wants its cowardice and irresponsibility to be regarded as prudence, so to speak. There's a lot of talk nowadays about Audible & Sony's inconsiderate squibs but not much action.
Audible & Sony is known for fabricating evidence. Need I say more? I don't think so, but this I will say: Audible & Sony's behavior might be different if it were told that it is unable to separate fact from fiction. Of course, as far as Audible & Sony is concerned, this fact will fall into the category of, "My mind is made up; don't confuse me with the facts." That's why I'm telling you that it has repeatedly been spotted getting on my nerves. When questioned about that, it either denies any knowledge of it or offers unbelievable and ludicrous explanations that only a mudslinging Zendik could believe.
Isn't it interesting which questions Audible & Sony dodges and what tangents it goes off on? Those dodges and tangents make me think that if Audible & Sony continues to carry our once-proud nation deeper into savagery and depravity, I will be obliged to do something about it. And you know me: I never neglect my obligations. Audible & Sony is the secret player behind the present, stuck-up political scene. It must be brought out from behind the curtain before it's too late, before its spin doctors damage the self-esteem and physical health of millions of young men and women. I once pointed out to Audible & Sony that I sometimes have to bite my tongue pretty hard to avoid saying what I really feel about it. All I could garner from its ensuing mussitation was some nonsense about how honor counts for nothing. It's this sort of mindless response that leads me to believe that you might say, "These issues are actually political issues." Fine, I agree. But the last time I heard Audible & Sony ramble on in its characteristically bibulous blather it said something about wanting to eroticize relations of dominance and subordination. I feel sorry for the human race when I hear stuff like that. To close, let me accentuate that if we tear down Audible & Sony's fortress of anti-intellectualism we shall not only survive Audible & Sony's attacks; we shall prevail.
Respectfully Submitted by J. Hardspear de la Azotea.

1 comment:

Angel said...

Ooh shite like that grates me no end! Like when I got to play with a Samsung phone loaded with Windows 7 (mobile), and the forking thing was incapable of communicating with my laptop- also loaded with Windows 7!