So, I J.
Hardspear de la Azotea, who have been told various things about ADD, have been
given a Sony Walkman MP3 player by my wife Lamb, so that I can listen to my
Audible audiobooks. Much as I love my
Kindle, it is a bit large to use a MP3.
Imagine running on the treadmill in the gym with a Kindle strapped to
your waist!
Breathless
with anticipation, I opened the Audible download manager on my PC. With a shaking finger I clicked on ‘add new
device’. WTF???? No Sony devices are listed.
Now Audible
SAY that you can download in MP3 format, but in fact it is actually their propriety
.aa extension format.
I jumped
onto the web and found that I was not the only fool who were cheated by Audible
and Sony.
I just want
to tell Audible and Sony… I SHALL find a
way to listen to my Audible books on my Sony Walkman. I have already downloaded 3 different DRM
(Digital Rights Management) software removal tools.
I have a
good mind and put Cory Doctorow onto the both of you!!!
(You do not
need to read the rest of this, below just a little drivel to create some esss
eeeeeee ooooohhh for this post.)
I unequivocally can't let Audible & Sony's
misinformation and misguided arguments about nativism go by without comment. As
you read this letter, bear in mind that there are many points of general
dissatisfaction and dispute that should not, on any account, be overlooked in
the discussion of the subjects here presented. One of these is that if we fail
to pursue virtue and knowledge then all of our sacrifices will be as forgotten
as the sand blowing across Ozymandias's dead empire. The "decay of that
colossal wreck," as the poet Shelley puts it, teach us that Audible &
Sony maintains that you and I are morally inferior to shabby nebbishes. While
that happens to be pure fantasy from the world of make-believe, one important
fact to consider is that you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the
subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me
thrust it into your face right here: If it can't cite the basis for its claim
that the best way to serve one's country is to turn over our country to tetchy,
untoward euphuists then it should just shut up about it.
Audible & Sony has gotten a bit too palsy-walsy with
inane gits. Surprised? You shouldn't be, because it's easy for armchair
philosophers to theorize about Audible & Sony and about hypothetical
solutions to our Audible & Sony problem. It's an entirely more difficult
matter, however, when one considers that it insists that the peak of fashion is
to waste everyone else's time. Sorry, Audible & Sony, but, with apologies
to Gershwin, "it ain't necessarily so." Let me give you some
important advice: Don't let Audible & Sony define you. Instead, show it
that you're in control by searching for solutions that are more creative and
constructive than the typically infelicific ones championed by mentally
deficient gutter-dwellers. I contend that even the most unassertive milquetoast
should be able to do something like that. At a minimum, you should remember
that if we're to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future
for ourselves, we will first have to challenge Audible & Sony to defend its
commentaries or else to change them.
The essential point, however, is the following: I strive
to be consistent in my arguments. I can't say that I'm 100% true to this, but
Audible & Sony's frequent vacillating leads me to believe that if we are
powerless to hammer out solutions on the anvil of discourse, it is because we
have allowed Audible & Sony to leave behind a wake of heinous reaction.
Audible & Sony has somehow managed to get the media to pay rapt attention
to its daffy fairy tales. I don't know what sort of Jedi mind control it's been
using to pull that off, but I do know that we must eschew bad-tempered
warlordism if we are ever to rub its nose in its own hypocrisy. Yes, this is a
bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic
guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must sincerely
pursue because every so often, Audible & Sony tries giving me reason to dig
my own grave and pay for the shovel. Whenever it gets caught doing so it raises
a terrific hullabaloo calculated to wage an odd sort of warfare upon a largely
unprepared and unrecognizing public.
In this volatile political moment, we must cautiously
guard against the dangers of dour antidisestablishmentarianism. That's just a
fancy way of saying that I don't know which are worse, right-wing tyrants or
left-wing tyrants. But I do know that if you hear Audible & Sony spouting
off about how it answers to no one, you should tell it that its ethics will
have consequences, intended and otherwise. Better yet, tell it to stop getting
its opinions from inattentive smut peddlers and start doing some research of
its own.
If history follows its course, it should be evident that
there's an important difference between me and Audible & Sony. Namely, I am
willing to die for my cause. Audible & Sony, in contrast, is willing to
kill for its—or, if not to kill, at least to toy with our opinions. To
overthrow western civilization through the destruction of its four pillars—family,
nation, religion, and democracy—is Audible & Sony's objective, and
furacious Bulverism is its method. I frequently talk about how Audible &
Sony fears nothing more than the exposure of its motives and activities. I
would drop the subject except that it claims to have turned over a new leaf
shortly after getting caught trying to defile the present and destroy the
future. This claim is an outright lie that is still being circulated by Audible
& Sony's pals. The truth is that Audible & Sony has been known to say
that mediocrity is a worthwhile goal. That notion is so nefarious, I hardly
know where to begin refuting it.
Audible & Sony is never without a sex-crazed thing to
say, but that's a story for another time. For now, I want to focus on the way
that its protests are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're
completely quasi-egocentric, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a
supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, I defy the
abysmal ragamuffins who practice human sacrifice on a grand scale in some sort
of deceitful death cult, and I defy the powers of darkness that they represent.
You know what we'd have if everybody wanted to sound the
standard "they're out to get us" call and rally Audible & Sony's
minions to make bribery legal and part of business as usual? Total chaos.
Presentism, imperialism, and factionalism follow Audible & Sony's
footsteps. Wherever it goes, such things are sure to sprout up. The implication
is that Audible & Sony's views raise a number of brow-furrowing questions.
I'm referring to questions such as, "What happened to Audible & Sony's
common sense?" It's questions like that that get people thinking about how
if Audible & Sony gets its way, I might very well abandon all hope.
If one believes statements like, "Audible & Sony
would never dream of inciting racial hatred," one is, in effect,
supporting impetuous jerks. Rather than respond to my letters with reasoned
arguments, Audible & Sony prefers to inject even more fear and divisiveness
into political campaigns. Although this method of attack is unparalleled in any
other sphere of literary controversy it does prove that Audible & Sony
wants its cowardice and irresponsibility to be regarded as prudence, so to
speak. There's a lot of talk nowadays about Audible & Sony's inconsiderate
squibs but not much action.
Audible & Sony is known for fabricating evidence.
Need I say more? I don't think so, but this I will say: Audible & Sony's
behavior might be different if it were told that it is unable to separate fact
from fiction. Of course, as far as Audible & Sony is concerned, this fact
will fall into the category of, "My mind is made up; don't confuse me with
the facts." That's why I'm telling you that it has repeatedly been spotted
getting on my nerves. When questioned about that, it either denies any
knowledge of it or offers unbelievable and ludicrous explanations that only a
mudslinging Zendik could believe.
Isn't it interesting which questions Audible & Sony
dodges and what tangents it goes off on? Those dodges and tangents make me
think that if Audible & Sony continues to carry our once-proud nation
deeper into savagery and depravity, I will be obliged to do something about it.
And you know me: I never neglect my obligations. Audible & Sony is the secret
player behind the present, stuck-up political scene. It must be brought out
from behind the curtain before it's too late, before its spin doctors damage
the self-esteem and physical health of millions of young men and women. I once
pointed out to Audible & Sony that I sometimes have to bite my tongue
pretty hard to avoid saying what I really feel about it. All I could garner
from its ensuing mussitation was some nonsense about how honor counts for
nothing. It's this sort of mindless response that leads me to believe that you
might say, "These issues are actually political issues." Fine, I
agree. But the last time I heard Audible & Sony ramble on in its
characteristically bibulous blather it said something about wanting to
eroticize relations of dominance and subordination. I feel sorry for the human
race when I hear stuff like that. To close, let me accentuate that if we tear
down Audible & Sony's fortress of anti-intellectualism we shall not only
survive Audible & Sony's attacks; we shall prevail.
Respectfully
Submitted by J. Hardspear de la Azotea.
