Hardspear reviews Redshirts by John Scalzi (Audible Version)

Dr. McCoy Disproven

As to the genre…  I, J. Hardspear de la Azotea don’t “get” the whole science fiction slash satire or fantasy slash satire thing.  Or usually I don’t.  I don’t “get” Douglas Adams.  I don’t “get” Terry Pratchet.  Howevurrr…  Redshirts by John Scalzi is different.  It is meta.  Maybe meta is different from satire.  As I started to listen to the Audible version of Redshirts, I thought, “Oh no.  Here we go again”.  Before long though, I became totally enmeshed in a geek get-off sort of way.  It is impossible not to if you have any affinity for Star Trek.

As to the plot…  “In this galaxy there’s a mathematical probability of three million Earth-type planets. And in the universe, three million million galaxies like this. And in all that, and perhaps more...only one of each of us”.  -Dr. McCoy, Star Trek, “Balance of Terror”.  

Well… not according to John Scalzi!  According to John Scalzi, in some weird alternative time-line there CAN be more than one of us.  Just ask Ensign Andy Dahl and his other low ranking, red-shirted compatriots. 

The Three Codas…  Towards the end, the cadence of the book changes from a fast paced and funny warp 9 to a slower, thoughtful, thrusters only velocity.  As I liked things nicely wrapped up, I would not have minded six or even more codas.

The narrative and the narration…  Wil Wheaton reads with élan and gusto and excitement.  The last coda he reads with emotion and compassion.  Many of the Audible reviews comment on the distraction of the overuse of character perspective indication.  It’s complicated… How do I explain.  In the narration there are conversations between characters where the sentences are short and all of them end in “he said, she said” or “Dahl said, Duval said.  This is especially rampant at the start of the book, but grows less.  I have not seen the complaint in reviews of people who read the book as opposed to listened to it.  Maybe the book is written to read like the script of a TV episode, I don’t know.  I just thought it added to the book’s overall quirkiness.

As to quality, yes it is worth to use your monthly free credit.  As to length, it was a bit short.  I usually try to get more minutes for my money.  (Remember, my monthly Audible subscription costs 130 South African Rands)

Hardspear Reviews the Audible version of Reamde by Neal Stephenson

Listen to Me, Read Me, Reamde.

On the topic of fiction novels where a large part of a book is set within a computer game, Ready Player One by Ernest Cline and Reamde by Neal Stephenson come to mind readily.  As opposed to the (near) futuristic dystopia in which Ready Player One is set, the backdrop to Reamde is a very realistic present. The lion’s share of Ready Player One takes place within the virtual reality of a computer quest-like game.  In Reamde, the percentage of the story that takes place within the World-of-Warcraft-like game called T’Rain is significantly smaller.  From here the differences between the two books just grows wider.  In the end, it is greatly unfair to even try to compare the two books.

It is difficult for me, J. Hardspear de la Azotea to pen down just how much I enjoyed the Audible audiobook version of Reamde.  It may just be the most entertaining and gratifying Techno-Thriller I have ever read/listened to.  As this is the first book by Mr. Stephenson I have had the pleasure to consume, I can only really comment on this book as it is, having no reference in terms of his other books.

Despite being classified as a Techno-Thriller, the narration is unbelievably funny at times.  There is one scene involving the Fantasy writers of the background to T’Rain referred to the ‘Apostropocalypse’ which had me crying with laughter.

The book is also about girl-power.  Zula Forthrast is one of the most quick-witted protagonists one can hope to encounter in a book.  The supporting characters of Olivia Halifax-Lin and Xian Yuxia positively delights.

The male characters, more specifically the “good guys” (sometimes the lines between good guys & bad guys gets a bit blurry, especially in the case of Solokov) are easy to relate to, with all their heroism and all of their fallibilities.

The book is long, VERY detailed and yet very fast-paced.  I listened to it on the plane, in the car, in bed before I go to sleep, first thing when I woke up, whilst I washed dishes etc, etc.

The matter of fact tone of the narration by Malcolm Hillgartner suits the story fantastically.  His accents runs from good (British) to bad (Scottish) but it is much better than I can do and still gets 100% for effort.

The Hunger Games Movie

As the other me said in a facebook update, I, J. Hardspear de la Azotea have had neither the benefit nor the drawback of having read the book ‘The Hunger Games’ therefor I went into the cinema not knowing what to expect.  I asked my Heavy Number Two (brother-in-law 2) to accompany me and off we went.

I was totally blown away!!!  I have not enjoyed a movie this much in a very long time.  I quickly picked up on the Greek Mythology theme of the story of Theseus, the Labyrinth and Ariadne’s Thread.  From the desperation of the people in the districts to the decadence of the citizens and rulers of the Capitol hegemony and eventually to the events in the Arena, the movie is one big visual stimulating experience.  I wanna see it again.

Effie Trinket & Katniss

I also cannot wait to get hold of the books.  I cannot understand why I have not yet read it, but will remedy this omission promptly.  (Maybe in my mind I was expecting something similar to the Twilight Saga, which I cannot stand.  I have said before – the whole teenage-angst-and-vampire theme does not work for me.)

Hardspear's Master Cleanse: Day 7 - Friday

I, J. Hardspear de la Azotea, am proud to declare that I have lasted 6 days on the Master Cleanse (Lemonade Diet).  I did aim for 10 days, but alas, for someone who thinks food, have a passion for cooking, who reads recipe- and cookbooks for leisure, who lives for and dreams of the next culinary success, to NOT eat for 6 days is a major fait accompli.  I also did stop smoking in the process.

So what happened?  It was late afternoon on Day 6 and I sat in an important meeting in which our team was discussing an important deadline for Monday.  I was feeling very low on energy and my concentration was totally shot.  All I heard was blah, blah, blah – Hardspear needs to blah, blah, blah and Hardspear has agreed to blah, blah, blah before close of business.  It was someone’s going away function earlier the day and there was some snacks left in our open plan office.  I got up in the middle of the meeting, walked out of the boardroom, went to the office ate a LITTLE of the snacks, drank a cup of coffee and re-joined the meeting.  I surreptitiously ascertained what the blah, blah, blah was and started executing on the blah, blah, blah.  I simply cannot afford not to have all my wits in one place from now till Monday.

In the evening I had a bowl of the lovely vegetable soup which I made earlier in the week.  Delicious.  I could feel the goodness seeping into every molecule of my body.  I also had a cup of yoghurt and a gut-flora tablet to re-establish and start re-populate all the good bacteria necessary for a healthy digestive system.

I walk away from this:

·         Feeling lighter

·         Feeling happier

·         Having lost 5 kilos

·         Tummy shrunk noticeably

·         Clothes fit looser

·         Stopped Smoking

·         Determined to continue henceforth eating healthier and smaller portions

·         Determined to start exercising.

So what to do with the left over Maple Syrup?  Well, I am already devising a recipe for Caramel Pecan Cupcakes with Maple Syrup, Mascarpone & Pistachio Icing.

Hardspear's Master Cleanse: Day 6 - Thursday

I, J. Hardspear de la Azotea nearly went mad last night.  I craved food so bad, I nearly lost it.  In the end I had to make a choice…  Either I quit, or I try some workaround to preserve my sanity.  I decided on the workaround.  I put a teaspoon of Bovril into a cup of hot water and drank the resulting lovely salty and savoury broth.  Immediately the Giant Pizzas stopped floating in front of my eyes.  I am not happy that I ‘cheated’ but I still feel good that I haven’t quit…  After today, only four more days… Then two days to ‘come off’ of the diet and then I am getting myself a gourmet pizza from Piza e Vino or Doppio Zero!

My concentration is all over the place – I have not taken Ritalin in 6 days.  Of course this does not bother me, but I can see I get to my colleagues a bit…  Luckily they think I am wonky because of the diet.

Oh… before I forget… Day 6 – Weighing in at 105.

Hardspear's Master Cleanse: Day 5 - Wednesday

Weighing in at 106 kg.  I, J. Hardspear de la Azotea am shitting what I haven’t eaten.  (Or perhaps I did eat it, only a year ago!).  It is amazing what comes out even after having nothing to eat for 4 days…

I am starting to get bored with this lemonade thing, to the extent that I actually look forward to my cup of laxative tea in the evenings, just because it is hot and tastes different…  But, mind over matter.  I will finish this thing.  I think the benefits and rewards will be worth the while.

Hardspear's Master Cleanse: Day 4 - Tuesday

Weighing in at 107 kg. My kidneys ached during the night.  My ankle which sometimes gives me problems is also sore.  Apart from that I, J. Hardspear de la Azotea am feeling quite good.  Had to catch a 6 o’ clock flight, ran around all day and had a slight craving for a cigarette for the first time in 4 days.  Landed at Lanseria again at 18:10 and back home just before 19:00.  The food cravings are not so bad during the day anymore (the first two days were terrible), but I tend to get hungry in the evenings.

I had a very good day yesterday (day 3).  I decided to make my vegetable soup for when I have to start eating again.  (Since you cannot start on solids straight away after having eaten nothing for 10 days, you have to start with orange juice on day 1 and 2 after the diet and on the evening of day 2 one can start to have vegetable soup).  I feel that I would need some serious nutrition by then, so I made a strong beef stock from scratch.  This took 4 hours.  I then sautéed onion, carrot and celery in my largest pot until it caramelized.  To that I added my lovely beef stock and a truck load of vegetables.  I simmered that for two hours and dished out half of the vegetables and blitzed it with a blending stick and poured it back.  The result – thick vegetable soup with whole chunks of veg still in.  I then put it in containers and stuck it in the freezer for when I am coming off of the diet…

Hardspear's Master Cleanse: Day 3 Monday (Public Holiday)

Weighing in at 108.  Phew!  Picked up 1, lost 2 – therefore down one in total.

I, J. Hardspear de la Azotea woke up on the dreaded DAY THREE (everyone says day 3 is the worst) feeling actually quite good.

Did salt water flush (with lemon).  Poop looked like deep yellow oil.  Disgusting.

I was very sleepy and tired on day one and two.  Really feel much better today.  Hope I feel good tomorrow.  I will be flying to some bumblefuck nowhere place for work in a small charter plane in the morning and back in the afternoon.

My slight double chin seems barely noticeable today, but I do feel hungry…