tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1350702795540188761.post241104558418580634..comments2023-10-21T13:13:10.760+02:00Comments on Hard Spear: New Dad No SexAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00623612981259503683noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1350702795540188761.post-12876037225933599012009-08-14T19:11:34.676+02:002009-08-14T19:11:34.676+02:00I think that you are a wonderful partner and that ...I think that you are a wonderful partner and that your wife is lucky to have you. I had a baby yrs ago and I can tell you from my experience that as the woman it is different after a baby and that you have to work harder at seeing yourself as a sexual being. I remember that I struggled to go from mother to lover in an instant. I remember feeling that my body was no longer my own. I remember feeling very tired all the time. In my experience (it could be different for other women) I battled to be/feel sexual for the whole time that I was breastfeeding. I no longer saw my boobs as a sexual part of me. They were food for the baby and I couldn't handle my partner touching them in a sexual way. Luckily I only breastfed for months. My advice to you would be to talk to your wife gently. The mind is the most important sexual organ and you are going to have to help her slowly ease into her new role as sexy mama.<br />It could take some time but you'll get there. <br />Sorry for this long comment.<br />Ps...Everything that has ever been written about the pill suppressing libido is true. Only now that I'm off it do I see that. Perhaps you and she could chat to her gynae about the possibility of looking into alternative options for birth control. <br />JuliaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1350702795540188761.post-41066167610737516552009-08-14T12:30:06.151+02:002009-08-14T12:30:06.151+02:00Umm... I haven't had a baby yet, but as a woma...Umm... I haven't had a baby yet, but as a woman I think talkign to her gently about it might work (not whining or guilting her, but rather saying you understand where she's at, but you love making love to her so much and you really miss that feeling of intimacy and would it be possible to have sex slightly more regularly again etc).<br /><br />Hehehe... Just realised that you asked for advice from other new dads and instead got it from three women ;-)Tamarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13875207633073348136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1350702795540188761.post-88291098425195083982009-08-13T13:48:14.862+02:002009-08-13T13:48:14.862+02:00If I can remember back breastfeeding hormones repr...If I can remember back breastfeeding hormones repress the sex drive but not sure if that is applicable here. However I do think that hormones may be the problem. Also there is nothing quite like being a mom to a baby like repressing the sex drive. Sex is an experience thing and we do get a lot better at it (like learning how to please oneself) as we get older. I do think maybe that you could try to talk to your wife about how you would like to be intimate a little more often and that you want her to also enjoy it. Find out if something is worrying her about sex or if something is turning her off. Sometimes tender communication is in itself a big turnon. Nights of cuddling and massage might encourage relaxation which might encourage sex. Dont forget that having a baby is a massive invasion of a womans body and includes all parts of her including her brain, feelings, hormones, and so on and every woman is different and will take different lengths of time to get back to normal. I really think that talking about it and really wanting to know is the key here. (PS sorry for the essay)BioniKathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14160435019367425283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1350702795540188761.post-48527934089376174292009-08-12T22:41:28.507+02:002009-08-12T22:41:28.507+02:00Oy... I feel for you Spear. I wish I had some advi...Oy... I feel for you Spear. I wish I had some advice.AngelConradiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09423318903817661244noreply@blogger.com